So I’ve only been in this “parenting game” for just over ten years now. Sometimes it feels more like thirty. In that time, I feel like I’ve learned things, I’ve screwed things up, and I’ve shed more tears than can fit in my bathtub. I’ve yelled more times than I care to admit. So with that being said, here are (just a few!) of the things I’ve learned in this crazy parenting journey. Enjoy.

When you think you have it figured out, the next day will be totally different.
When you think you’ve mastered ‘parenting’, the next kid does the complete opposite, and you have to re-learn everything you thought you knew.
Coffee and friends somehow make everything seem better and that the day will get better.
You are going to compare yourself with other parents. This is a trap. Remember no one knows how to parent your children but you.
Most everyone lies on social media. That cute picture that your friend posted of their smiling toddler? Totally staged and that child most likely bribed somehow. How do I know? I am 100% guilty of it. A lot. For every cute picture you see on my Facebook, it took thirty tries before getting it right.
Always be the example you wish to see in your children.
Don’t let electronics win over spending time with your child.
Children are their own beings. They are not carbon copies of you. They have their own personalities, temperaments, likes and dislikes.
You won’t like their music.
The words “penis” and “vagina” will roll off your tongue with ease.
Just like how you can’t remember what you have for lunch 3 weeks ago, you will forget the sleepless nights.
Saying sorry is the humblest thing you can say to your children. It teaches them that adults make mistakes.
No matter how the day goes, no matter how frustrated or angry I get, and I feel like I screwed up so much, I always make sure I say I’m sorry to them. And ask them to forgive me.
Mistakes will happen. No parent is perfect. Ever. Not even close.
At bedtime, I always tell my children, “I love you when you’re happy, I love you when you’re mad, I love you when you’re sad, I love you no matter what.”
You are going to have bad days. Remember what Anne Shirley said in Anne of Green Gables? “Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it.” Remember that.
You’ll never regret taking too many pictures or videos. Just be sure to back them up!
You are not weak or a bad mom if you need or ask for help. No one can do this alone. No one.
Special activities during the week make life memorable. Make blanket forts, pop popcorn, and have a movie night. Eat dessert first before dinner.
When big emotions come out of your child, learn to take a deep breath before reacting. Their behavior is communication.
The little moments in life become big memories for your kids. They won’t remember the toys you bought them, but they will remember the moments you spent with them.
Being honest and open (as much as possible) makes the world of difference. Your kids will be open with you.
Don’t be afraid to teach responsibility and work ethic.
They will make mistakes. Don’t shame them for it. Turn it into an opportunity for growth.
Writing down the funny things your kids say will be incredibly uplifting. It will also serve as blackmail later on.
Date nights are incredibly important. Don’t skimp out. Be creative.
Gross your children out. Kiss your spouse in front of them. Show affection.
If you fight with your partner in front of the kids, make sure they see you apologize to each other.
Teach your children that you don’t always have time for them. Teach them to wait. They are not the center of your world. They are a very important part, but not the only part.
Know that no one wants to do the worst job possible as a parent. But depending on our stress and what else is going on in your life, it happens sometimes. Forgive yourself, and keep going.
And the lessons will continue to be learned.

Written by Paula Dibbits, RECE, Parent Support Educator

What I’ve Learned as a Mom - 2021 Edition